I know you will never read what im about to say but i dont care. I'm going to write to you anyway.
i want you to know that you inspire hope in me more so than the vast majority of influences i've come across. In many ways you remind me of my mother, a person i respect and admire and in many ways I dont understand. The stories you share have effected me emotionally and almost brouhgt me to tears reading about you running away. I always wish i had suffered more growing up... you can only really overcome the circumstances you're brought up in if they aren't good. And in that way i feel like im sort of limited now since my childhood was better than most.
I have never had to live in a situation one tenth as bad as those described in your blog. Ive always feel that I never had a reason to complain. i did starve, i wasnt abused, i wasnt beaten. My parents tried their hardest, and im only at the cusp of begining to understand howmuch they really did.
i try every day for them to be the wisest person i can. i dont know how else to adequately say thank you.
Reading what you write has at least inspired me to feel sad with justification again.
I dont know waht I would say to you if we met on the street. i wouldnt pity you for your hardships because youve told me why i shouldn't. (and that you dont want or need some random teenagers pity). I hate that I can so easily see how real your stories are. Theres absolutly no flare
I wish there was.
ive never been very good at saying how sorry i am. ive locked up and stood in place for an hour due to my inability to process how i felt. i can't blame anyone for this but myself.
I wish I could hug you, not for you but for me. I dont presume to know how you would react to such a thing but i would say to your face how much it makes me feel not alone to see somone like yourself.
A human being unfiltered before a world filled with critics, bigots, tools, and whores.
(I love the word Whore by the way. there are few insults that i find as rich in meaning. also the pronunciation of the word almost requires more..disgust and condensation than many of the other insults.)
I have a file in my mind which in which i place very few people. often times it is just a side of a person. one reflection of them in one light, sometimes it is merely a small statement. perhaps you fit in this catagory because of the onesided single light i see you in, all you are to me is an online blog, but there is enough fiber in that to merit recognition.
I desperatly hope. That is some small way I can learn to emulate you.
That file is of people I want to be like.
People whom I want to change myself to resemble.
Aspects of my mother, fathers, and a few other are included in this. And while I know it may seem trivial to some to be included in my little "head file", i want you to know that i heard you. I dont care if a thousand other people come in line in importance before me in your mind, because today you said the right thing to make me feel like i dont need your approval.
Today, right now, you made a difference to me. and that I can shout it to the world like you shouted your words to an audience you would never meet or hear... that is good enough for me, and i thank you.
an avid fan