Friday, November 5, 2010

A letter to Violent Acres

Dear V,

I know you will never read what im about to say but i dont care.  I'm going to write to you anyway.

i want you to know that you inspire hope in me more so than the vast majority of influences i've come across.  In many ways you remind me of my mother, a person i respect and admire and in many ways I dont understand.  The stories you share have effected me emotionally and almost brouhgt me to tears reading about you running away.  I always wish i had suffered more growing up... you can only really overcome the circumstances you're brought up in if they aren't good.  And in that way i feel like im sort of limited now since my childhood was better than most.

I have never had to live in a situation one tenth as bad as those described in your  blog. Ive always feel that I never had a reason to complain.  i did starve, i wasnt abused, i wasnt beaten.   My parents tried their hardest, and im only at the cusp of begining to understand howmuch they really did.

i try every day for them to be the wisest person i can.  i dont know how else to adequately say thank you.

Reading what you write has at least inspired me to feel sad with justification again. 

I dont know waht I would say to you if we met on the street.  i wouldnt pity you for your hardships because youve told me why i shouldn't. (and that you dont want or need some random teenagers pity).  I hate that I can so easily see how real your stories are. Theres absolutly no flare

 I wish there was.

ive never been very good at saying how sorry i am.  ive locked up and stood in place for an hour due to my inability to process how i felt. i can't blame anyone for this but myself.

I wish I could hug you, not for you but for me. I dont presume to know how you would react to such a thing but i would say to your face how much it makes me feel not alone to see somone like yourself.

A human being unfiltered before a world filled with critics, bigots, tools, and whores.

(I love the word Whore by the way. there are few insults that i find as rich in meaning. also the pronunciation of the word almost requires more..disgust and condensation than many of the other insults.)

I have a file in my mind which in which i place very few people.  often times it is just a side of a person. one reflection of them in one light, sometimes it is merely a small statement.  perhaps you fit in this catagory because of the onesided single light i see you in, all you are to me is an online blog, but there is enough fiber in that to merit recognition.

I desperatly hope. That is some small way I can learn to emulate you.

That file is of people I want to be like.

People whom I want to change myself to resemble.

Aspects of my mother, fathers, and a few other are included in this. And while I know it may seem trivial to some to be included in my little "head file", i want you to know that i heard you. I dont care if a thousand other people come in line in importance before me in your mind, because today you said the right thing to make me feel like i dont need your approval.

Today, right now, you made a difference to me.  and that I can shout it to the world like you shouted your words to an audience you would never meet or hear... that is good enough for me, and i thank you.

           an avid fan   


Thursday, November 4, 2010

random blog title

Im gonna break form here and have no valid logical points, or even well based opinions. 
Im reading a blog I found completely by accident called violent acres. and while i dont feel as though a series of walls are shattering down in my head, I love it. and it gives me some fucking hope for once. 

I was randomly trolling the internet and through sheer coincidence i found intelligence. wtf?  where did this come from? you can't find REASONABLE PEOPLE on the internet. blashpemy.

Ive taken to listening to dubstep while on the computer and am seriously enjoying Deadmau5. (i love the fact that there are no words. its just pure musical experience without cramming an agenda down my throat. no pressure to learn the lyrics or anything. ) even though hes probably the most well known artist of the dubstep genre. only one ive heard of.  why does that make me feel like i shouldnt enjoy his music? 

but anyway back to said blog. some of the stories this lady tells...there so HUMAN.  no plot, no characters, nothing but what happened. another wtf.  perhaps its because i dont spend much time looking at or for blogs that i find this so astounding.

but then again its not something i come across in daily life either... so many people i see at gainesville state look...zombified...overwhelmed? maybe its me...  

i look at peoples face when i walk from class to class. their FACES not thier shoes or purses.  i look straight at their eyes.  why do so many people glance and look away like theyre scarred?  once again maybe its me. i dont doubt ive come across more than once as "creepy" without even realizing it.

I feel like we're all running out of hope. for every story u hear of somone getting ahead 10 people come out of the woodwork to slash and berate them or talk about how they rode on others backs.  somebody give us some fucking hope. I say us because i am here in this ridiculous world with you. bigots and fanatics around every corner screaming at us.  why even try?

and yet how hypocritical is it of me to sit here late at night, talking to myself,  thinking about how hopeless i feel in this self destructive world we are inhabiting?  all im doing is standing around complaining while the ship is sinking.  plus what good is my opinion just because i have the nerve to think it?  im just a poor 18 year old with no family to support and have never had to fight for the food given to me and still i feel the need to complain about how i feel hopless? gimme a fucking break. how is my opinion any more valid than the fucktard holding the God hates fags sign? those blind fools with cash in front of thier eyes pressing the launch button over and over and over. 

its not. thats what i find hopless. that there exists no sound way to invalidate the sheep following blindly and corrupt with power with out becoming the very thing you orignially rallied against.

its hopless.

but thats when you find those jewels. those small rays of hope and insight between the overcast sky of idiocracy. and i guess thats all im really asking for.

Monday, September 20, 2010

The topic we discussed today in sociology really got me thinking. We were taking notes on the proccess of socialization when the professer went off on an interesting and related tangent (its awsome when she does this!). It was about a college somewhere doing a volentary experiment to see the effects of college students not using either facebook or twitter for an entire week. Now I realize I don't have any information about this experiment but I was more interested in the topic than the actual results of the experiment (I like to give the sources for where my more interesting thoughts come from.)

No facebook? No Twitter? FOR A WEEK?! Who would volentarily do such a thing? I surmise that this could be a common reaction of people in my age group. But it was not so long ago that these social networking sites did not exist. When one moved away you very rarely saw your old friends again or knew who they were dating or what type of koolaid they're making or what part of their house they are currently residing in. No you had little connection with these people beyond the occasional phone call or maybe going back to visit and perhaps sending gifts and cards at Christmas. Today we can hardly escape our friends. There is always somone up online willing to talk with you about absolutly nothing.

"Do you watch Lost?"
 But this is a good thing right?  We're more connected and sharing ideas is so easy now! I've never felt more accepted!  I like my cyber friends who i've never met nor do i really know anything about them, but because they have the label of "friend" in my freinds tab I create the realtionshiop as perfect in my mind!! And so little time is spent actually talking with this person that my idealistic view of our relationship is very hard to dispell!! WHY WOULD THIS BE A BAD THING??!?!?!


My friends...this is a bad thing.  Heres my reasoning on why.  It is in all essence addictive not only due to the fact that it gives the (false) feeling of acceptance through "groups" and "fanclubs", it also starves us of actual human interactions while providing a cut down cheaper version that gets us just high enoguh to keep us coming back.  In a normal human interaction (perhaps a conversation between two people standing face to face) only 30% of the focus of one individual is spent on the actual words and meanings of the other. The other 70% of the energy devoted to interpreting the interaction is focused on body language, intonation, facial expression, and even the slight variations in smell of the other person.  What does this mean? It means conversations you have on facebook give you only a third of the required imput to fully understand someone. We make up for this by talking a hell of a lot more.  Which leads to longer time spent on a computer away from actual people. Which is what the creators wanted.  

"You either die a hero...or live long enough to see yourself become the villan."

I believe this leads to the inability to connect with people outside of a cyber world.  When you meet someone in person there is alot more information being thrown at you than in a typical online interaction. Ever met a very tech-savvy person who spend alot of time on computers yet has less than adequate people skills?  It is becasue they have spent so much time behind a tiny filter that only lets in the tiniest bit of information in at a time. Ergo they have lost (or never developed) the skills to interact and socialize with people in the realworld. 

(I love how much this same picture applies)
 Human contact is one of the basic requirements of life that is programmed in every human being at birth.  Facebook provides a substitute for the human needs of the company of others, and yet there is no true substitute.  This is how you create a situation where people are at home alone in the dark on a social networking site feeling like they are enjoying time with their friends. Or perhaps if that is a little radical of me, look at it like this, Take your favorite soda for example. (in my case Coca-cola) No other drink truly satisfies a craving for coke quite like an actual coke. There is diet, cherry, diet cherry, lime, diet lime, vanilla, cherry-vanilla, and a bunch of other off brands that try to sell you their product as being just as satisfying as the real thing, but it is never true. The same thing goes for actual human contact. There is no substitute.


Monday, September 13, 2010

I had an interesting postulation the other day while I was in the car with Mom (Tara), Reid, and Frank.  In reincarnation, what if when you die you are not reborn in the same time as when you died?  What if when i pass away i am reincarnated in a life that lived 500 years ago? What if the people you read about in history books are your relatives in past lives or you in a past life?  I know there are some out there who have already thought about this and come to different conclusions, but I find it a very revolutionary idea. 

Paul, John, Ringo, and George

This leads me to wonder if there are really that many souls in existence when you remove the illusion of time.  I think it is a staple of reincarnation that your souls cannot exist in the same time as the life you just left. (at least that is to someone with little knowlegde of the actual religious beliefs)  But I ask why is this so? Have you ever met someone you felt so intune with that many things just went unsaid? Or perhaps they seem to understand your sense of humor better than anyone else?  What if that is because it is you in another life?  When you die and are reborn what if you are reborn 6 months later than your last life was born?  And then you became friends with yourself?

This in my mind bring up the questions of love. In terms of a soul things like gender,race, an time are meaningless.  So what if all couples who experience true love are merely the same soul in two lives that happen to take place at the same time?  what if your parent IS YOU? 

"This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you"

You have to wonder now if maybe every single person is a different life of the same soul just hopping through time from one life 1000 years ago to right now to 25 years in the future and back again.  Maybe this explains the collective subconsious. Would it really be a Collective subconisous? Its all the same soul!

Your argument is invalid.
Now reflecting on what I have just wrote I can see where this can look a little chaos thoery esque, or maybe just depressing. But I want to dispell this negativity as it is infront of me. None of this idea makes any indiviual less special, in fact i see it as making everyone more special, ergo more important. Every life is a unique experience that adds to the collective soul thus furthering us toward whatever agenda a soul that is comprised of all human knowledge and experiences aspires to.


Thursday, September 2, 2010

Singular Afterlife: The key to social growth

In my history class the last few days we have been studying ancient cultures such as Mesopotamia and Egypt.  A common characteristic among these ancient peoples is their seemingly modern take on morals, equality, and basic human rights.  In both Egypt and Mesopotamia women were allowed to own property, engage in trade and business, and were for many parts acknowledged as equal to men.  This is something one very rarely seems throughout history, especially after Christianity in any form takes hold as a recognized religion.

Also if one looks at the concepts that have arisen out of theses societies, one would be astonished to see how many are an integral part of daily life even now.  The concept of a fair and considerate justice system with laws concerning the well being of widows and orphans and even slaves came from Hammurabi, the leader of Babylonia.  When one looks at the intricate legal system he created, one sees a founding structure to the one used in modern America. Laws concerning building codes, medical practices, domestic abuse, and slavery were common thousands of years ago. When one looks at early America and pretty much all of Europe until recently, they were lacking in these laws that enforced basic human rights. Now one could argue that it was the Evil Monarch that installed the institutions that kept peasants down and that once they were overthrown the people gave everyone equal rights and civil liberties but that, as history clearly shows, is wrong.  In fact Babylon was a MONARCHY.

THIS GUY loved his people.

Also the concept of Democracy came out of a polytheistic society (Ancient Greece) and women were allowed to be the financial equals as well as rulers in a place where the ruler WAS A LIVING GOD (Egypt). In contrast look at the extreme repression of women all throughout the monotheistic Christian Europe during the Dark ages. Now what caused these supposed ancient peoples to be so forward thinking when people hundreds of years later were so close-minded and hateful?  Was it just they happened to have fair and forward thinking rulers? Probably not. Was it their priests who pushed for just and fair treatment of their followers?  Also probably not. 

I believe it is in the basic structure of their concept of the afterlife that lead to so many of their advances in thinking and morality.  If you examine the fundamental differences on the views of the afterlife of Christianity, Judaism, and Islam  V.S.  The views of the previously mentioned societies, one notices that the polytheistic religions have relatively simple afterlives. By that I mean that in Ancient Egypt, or Greece, or Babylonia one didn't have to constantly worry about damnation and hellfire because everyone went to the same place.  This lead to people focusing more effort on their current lives, instead of working and toiling to make sure they got a spot in heaven.  Look at it this way, IF the afterlife is gonna suck, like the ancient Greeks believed, why not make being alive more livable? Because hey its not going to last so live it up while you can!

Pictured: the real reason communism is both favored by 20-somethings and doesn't work 

That's not to say Monotheistic religions are all bad, they've contributed something but it seems to be the equivalent of writing their name at the top of the page, after torturing and persecuting every one else that worked on the project.  In closing one has to wonder what purpose these monotheistic religions have served? How have they made us any better?  Ancient Egyptian men were loving and caring for their wives and children, not something that can be said about medieval father figures. What have our religions done for us that older religions didn't?  And here is a question  for you, How sure are you that Monotheistic Christian religions are any different from Ancient Polytheistic ones??

Heres a start.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Preface: Me and the Thoughts to make you think. (hopefully)

Hello, I am Guy martin for those of you who don't know me.  I'm 18, I recently started classes at the Gainesville state college, am an Eagle Scout, and am interested in our world which we so often take for granted.  Not only the physical explainable world but also the world of ideas and concepts which are taken for granted and not delved into beyond the surface levels. Many of these musings seem to be of little importance and hold no direct answers to daily problems, but i often find that it is the smallest overlooked thing that holds the most ingenuity.


Im currently taking a sociology class so no doubt many views, opinions, and musings will come from class discussion.  Since we have just started our first chapter is on some of the original sociologists which often practiced "Armchair sociolgy". This is where rich white old men sit in their splendorous houses and smoking rooms and armchairs next to ordate fireplaces, surveying the world from a very limited point of view and believing that they can surmise the cause of economical or social problems.  They are wrong.  With such an excessively skewed look at the rest of the world many of their "realizations" have been simply thrown away.


My point is that every person everywhere on every subject is biased in some way or another. One of my favorite quotes is by Aristotle,  "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it". This says to me that one should consider every idea fully, yet take each with a grain of salt.

Making sense since 384 BCE

In closing i would ask that you the reader take my opinion with a grain of salt. I was raised in the U.S. therefore i am already have many biases that are present within each American, once again not a bad thing, just something to keep in mind!

And yes that is Fox "news"